Pagan Blog Project 2014: “Q” is for Questions
“I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.”
That phrase has become part of my standard vocabulary lately, usually regarding some aspect of fictional minutiae. (E.g., Shit Nobody Cares About related to obscure aspects of a show nobody watched.) It has also begun to make its way into my practice.
And that’s good, right? The strongest faith is supposed to be predicated on questions.
Naturally, these questions never have easy answers, if they have answers at all.
Of course, most of my questions lately have been “Why me?” and “Why would you pick me?” and also, the smash hit, “No, seriously, why?!”
Any answers I’m getting on that front are clear as mud. One of these days I’ll learn better than to ask.
I’ve found that asking questions helps me out, even if I don’t get clear answers about things. My entities seem to encourage it (especially the Assassin; that’s kind of his deal). Nearly our entire relationship is questions. I’ve learned to just roll with it.
Divination is the most reliable method I’ve found to communicate with my entities, because, as previously established, I don’t really have a “godphone”. The higher up the, er, hierarchy you are, the less likely I am to “hear” you. Case in point, the Wolf and I are very close and if he has something to tell me, he usually flat-out tells me. Conversely, I do not get simple, uncomplicated messages from Bast. I have to break out the tarot cards for Her, or try meditation. Which makes sense for me, I think. I’m open to muses and guides and constructs; I still, despite my best efforts, have a little trouble with deities. Again, part of the whole “Why me?” song and dance. I’ll get over it, eventually.
Luckily, when I do use one of the methods of divination I’ve found work for me – namely, tarot and shufflemancy, since while I do have a pendulum I mostly use it to find stuff that’s gotten lost – I tend to get pretty straightforward answers. Of course, now that I’ve said that, things will have to get super cryptic. Asking questions is a large part of my budding faith. I really don’t think they’d have it any other way.