Pagan Blog Project 2014: “E” is for Evolution
As of this Imbolc, I will have been a pagan for three years. And I never could have guessed that my path would lead me here in such a short period of time.
I started out, as many of us do, with the usual collection of books – Buckland, Cunningham, even (and I hesitate to admit this) Silver Ravenwolf. (It was my mother’s copy from the early ’90s. What do you want from me.) Okay, okay – I admit it, then I dropped money on Solitary Witch. And read it cover to cover. Look how far I’ve come since then!
As I progressed and read everything I could get my hands on, I eventually figured out that neo-Wicca was not for me. I kept coming up on things that felt right, and every time I would find something else that just didn’t quite click for me. So I parted from the God and Goddess on good terms. I’ve got respect, but clearly we were not a good fit for each other. I still mark the Wheel of the Year in a peripheral sort of way, but I do appreciate that it’s made me a little more aware of my local seasonal cycles.
Pretty much as soon as that happened, Bast hit me on the head with a clue-by-four and dragged me into the Kemetic sphere. Officially, that was a little over a year ago. (Unofficially, I’d been seeing the signs for a while.) I still read every book I could get my hands on, of course, and as I did I saw what applied to my life and my practice, and what didn’t. I began to read more critically, and locked up the SRW books as I realized just how problematic they were. I even added unorthodox figures to my practice – I believe it was last February or March when I hung up the Assassin’s dogtags over a little bowl with Skittles in it, and sometime around May the Mechanic muscled his way in as well. Veneration of the City had been planned for a while as well as I got more comfortable with really forging my own path and realized it was okay to do just that. (I just want to take this opportunity to thank all relevant deities that I didn’t find the pagan sphere of tumblr until I was well out of my fluffy stage.)
It’s okay to grow. It’s okay to change. It’s okay to cut ties with gods when the relationship isn’t working, and it’s okay to take a chance on something that seems kind of bizarre even by pagan standards. My practice is weird and unorthodox and unusual, and it’s working damned well for me – better than anything right out of the books I read three years ago ever could.
I wonder how much it’s going to change in the year ahead.