Once is Happenstance, Twice Coincidence, Third Time is the Gods Knocking on Your Head and Calling You a Damn Fool

Like I have said before, I am a bit of a dense motherfucker, cf. my post about Bast. And sometimes, there’s the little things. Just the little things, the things that make you look at the camera like you’re Ben Wyatt when you think about them later (I don’t like The OfficeParks and Rec is way superior, fight me).  Read More…

On Charlottesville

[Warning: This entry contains even more swearing than usual and discussion of racism and domestic terrorism.]

This weekend was tough.

I mean, it was more than tough, but I don’t even really have the words for it. It hurt. It scared me. There was one point where I just laid down on the floor covered in a blanket in despair.

Charlottesville is two hours away from me. It’s a liberal college town. I nearly went to school there. Who knew a city council vote to remove a fucking statue would get three people killed? (Yes, three people. Those state troopers who died in the helicopter crash were responding to the situation, thus the white supremacists marching are responsible.) Read More…

Trust No One (Except Yourself, and Sometimes Not Even Then)

Being betrayed is…well, it’s fun to write about, a plot twist in a story, someone you thought you could trust turning out to be an enemy or at the very least a bad egg.

Kind of shitty when it happens in real life, though. Read More…

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bast

If you know me well, you know that I am deeply, incredibly stubborn. It’s actually laughable, how hardheaded I am. And sometimes? I can be dense as hell about picking up some subtle clues, and some not-so-subtle clues, that have been following me practically since I started to be able to read.

Let’s talk about Bast. Read More…

Wep Ronpet 2017

This is the first year I’ve properly done Wep Ronpet, and let me tell you, it was pretty great. (Even though figuring out when Sirius/Sopdet rose prior to the sunrise around here was a little difficult. Why must you make me do math?) I kinda fucked up the Epagomenal Days because I didn’t honor Aset on the fourth day so She had to share with Nebthet (sorry, Aset). Aset in the morning when I woke up on day 5, Nebthet in the evening before I went to bed.

I used my bright green YOLO shotglass to offer water. I thought Wesir would get a kick out of that, at least.

On each Epagomenal Day, I told each Netjer that I would like to work with Them more in the future…help. I may have bitten off more than I can chew. But I really would like to expand aspects of my Kemetic practice, even though my seasonal practice involving Bast and the Wolf is working just fine for me.

The day itself dawned…cloudy and rainy, unfortunately.  Read More…

Guess who’s back, back again?

Hey there, friends.

Been a while. Lots of reflection, lots of change in my practice. I’ve archived the previous posts, because they don’t reflect my current spiritual life…and honestly, upon rereading them, they felt kind of childish. Not at all how I am, or who I am anymore.

I’m not going to sugarcoat it – I’ve been through a lot of trauma since I last posted in 2014. Sexual assault, the loss of a job, harassment at work, misdiagnosis and mismedication which made me so utterly stupid that I couldn’t do basic math…it wasn’t great.

In the words of John le Carré:

“They did this to me but I have remained who I am. I am tempered. I am able. Inside myself there’s an untouched man. If they came back now, and did everything to me again, they would never reach the untouched man. I’ve passed the exam I’ve been shirking all my life. I’m a graduate of pain.”

That’s from The Constant Gardener, one of my favorite books. It’s dark, and hard, and honestly kind of depressing (and the movie makes me sob my eyes out every time), but it’s hopeful, too. It’s about fighting darkness and injustice, and bringing the mistreatment of people who can’t fight for themselves to light. (To be quite honest, I’m on the verge of tears just writing about it. It affects me that much.)

So, here I am. A graduate of pain. And it’s time to record who I’ve become.