I have a weird relationship with Lent.
I’m not Catholic. I’ve never been Catholic. I joke a lot that Catholic Guilt™ takes seven generations to leave the bloodline, and my mom, well, was almost a nun. By the time she had me, she’d been agnostic twenty years, but the Catholic Guilt™ is still strong with this one.
The idea of abstention from something pings something deep within me, and so does the idea of rededication to faith. But unfortunately, I have so far been a Bad Catholic™ (Beri, you’re not even Catholic, calm down, Beyoncé) and haven’t…really done anything.
I mean. I’ve done things when I remember, and my memory’s about as reliable as a chocolate teapot these days. (Thanks, medication!)
Blessed Yule, my dudes.
I don’t do Yule per se – I’m trying to figure out the solstice, since that’s the halfway point for the dark half of the year, and the half of the year I spend mostly interacting with Wolf-Sensei. I admit – I haven’t been too great about that lately. Partially due to some weirdass medical stuff, and partially due to some other mental stuff. Hooray for cold weather causing nerve pain flare-ups. And hooray for trying to break my wrist in my sleep (???).
(Gonna do a post about grief in a few days, probably, since an anniversary is coming up and I’m all verklempt even thinking about it.)
Anyway, on to the point: figuring out traditions is hard when you’re making your own. Read More…
I’ve started working on my Book again. You know, The Book. The thing in which one writes down all the everything.
I don’t know what to call it – Book of Shadows isn’t my thing, grimoire isn’t quite right – but I’m always scared that I’ll screw it up somehow. I had to get the ARC thing from Staples – that modular system where you can change things around. Like a binder, but it still looks nice. I can’t copy things into a journal that looks nice. Not yet.
In the fancy candy shop yesterday:
“Ooh, an Earl Grey macaron. I’ll get one, that’ll be a good offering for Wolf-Sensei.”
“Mint honey? Sure. Bast’ll enjoy that, I think. Ooh, and konpeitō!”
All of this out loud. All of it. (And I didn’t even know that konpeitō is a standard gift for the Imperial Family of Japan. Wrong side of the world, but, hey. Thanks. Thank you. Thanks. And lucky me, I get to revert all of these offerings. Delicious.)
Point is, aside from the fact that either due to my meds or the fact that I just don’t give a shit anymore, I have no filter. And my internal monologue is often an external monologue. And that often means that I’m openly pagan in public.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Read More…
“Mental health machine broke.”
“Understandable, have a great day.”
I meme, because otherwise I cry.
I’m gonna be real here – I’m not doing great. Living this close to Mos Eisley on the Potomac kinda does that; it’s chipping away at me, day after day.
It never used to do that. Read More…